Memo

To: Pentagon Shipping and Receiving Dept.

From: American People

Re: Measure Twice, Cut Once

Dear Procurement Guy,

 I am writing to you on behalf of the American people. When I was just a young boy I learned that it was always best to double check my work, particularly if it was a really important task, before making final decisions. My Nonno was a wood carver and I remember as a boy watching him measure his templates a couple of times before actually placing them on the wood to make a cut. I also remember my dad making me mow the lawn a second time because I missed spots. It would take me twice as long. Those were simple lessons learned as a pre-teen.

 I am reminded of those lessons as I read the report that you mistakenly shipped 4 nuclear fuses to Taiwan instead of helicopter batteries. I am no expert on military weaponry but I don’t believe nuclear fuses and helicopter batteries look anything alike.

If by chance they share similar geometric shapes that could cause confusion when packaging and shipping, please mark them appropriately. We would like to be confident that when you are handling items that can trigger nuclear warheads, potentially causing Armageddon, that you would keep them in a separate location, if not a locked and secure area. Just a thought.

Kind Regards,

 America

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